This one is my fault but it is too big for me

One of my kids just told me they don't believe in God.

I have only myself to blame. I am so sad and so not cut out to raise children. I tell ya. After seeing the Dead Sea scroll this morning. I was feeling a bit more renewed in my pursuit to get the family back to church on a regular basis(if at all). Then this bombshell.

I don't even need to ask what I need to do.

Please join me in prayer for my family. Thank you. K~

I'll tell ya what hurts

I didn't get bitten, I didn't get scratched, but for the second time, I had my finger caught between its extremely strong tail and the spike on the back of its top shell. All I have to show for my incident is a small dot on the top of my finger by my knuckle. But when you touch it, it really hurts. Usually you don't want to pick snapping turtles up by their tail. It is harmful for them. but at work, most of the turtles have shell injuries, making it too harmful and painful for them to be picked up "properly"so we need to grab them by the tail and put are other hand under them to lift them out of the container. Needless to say they don't like this. K~

A conundrum wrapped in a question filled with a query...

Ok, so hears the deal.... I can't be around dust or my asthma goes nuts. So if I don't dust, it gets too dusty, and I am surrounded by dust, if I dust then I am surrounded by dust.

I can't be around fall leaves or my asthma goes crazy so do I leave them or do I rake them. I just tried to simply sweep the sidewalk and now I sense the deep wheezing set in. so.... there you go. My answer is a hazmet suit. K~

tree house

Rick and David working hard on the tree house.

Will it be done by winter?

I don't know.

But it is really cute. K~

Finally done

It took awhile, but I finally finished the "Bison in the Badlands". K~

A lighter side of self discovery

I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was "I am Fred Flintstone". Let us do the run down shall we.

1. I wear the same thing everyday

2. I always goes barefoot

3. We are not going to mention my size... but....

4. I shrink when ashamed

5. I let the cat out every night

6. I like to nap

I think 6 distinct similarities is enough to prove my point.

so.... my quote for the day is, of course, "Yabba Dabba Doo!" K~

hats

Hat for big brother Darby.

Hat for new born baby Finn.

K~

Not Sleeping

It has been only 4 days since I resigned from Site Council. I am sad that the principal never contacted me after I sent the email resignation. She just put out an email to the council, not sending it to me, and moved on. I guess, it was a cowardly way out, but after all, it was a volunteer position. I was a voting member of Site Council for about 4 years (a long time) I have been going for over 9 years. I guess when you make a decision to quit. You need to be ready for it to be ALL over. But I guess I feel ashamed about it. I have to remind myself that crying after meetings, one of which I volunteer my time, is not healthy for me. It is not a place someone should spend their time. I see people move on from things, and they well, move on, or so it seems. Me?? I am not a mover oner. I think I am sometimes, I want to think I am, but I'm not.

Sleeping has been so hard for me. Well before summer started. Now it is October, and I am still not sleeping. I am tense and a bit of a mess.

I need to take baby steps and learn that everyone, including me, deserves to feel useful and heard. Maybe someday, I will find a place where that is the case.

Being 43 and having no direction is not a fun place to be. I just seem to long to be valued. I am smart sometimes. I have something to offer. I know I do. Don't I??

Maybe I don't. Maybe I am just stupid. Maybe it is safer for me to stay home. Bad things happen when I go "outside" of my house. I don't feel comfortable anymore. Frankly, I have felt this way for years now. After so much time trying to fill the void, I think I need to just except the fact that I have nothing directly to give to others. I am just dopy old me. plodding along. what a doof. I think after 30+ years of "mis-steps" I should at the very least be able to embrace that fact.

I wish that I felt like a high schooler looking for attention and saying things to get it. But alas, I actually know it is who I am and it makes me sad and frustrated.

Just sayin' K~

I'm exhausted and discouraged today

It seems the more I try and work with Site Council, the worse it gets and the more upset I become. I am a 43 year old woman for cornsake!!!!! I have decided to "piss AND get off the pot" It is what I always say about the group..."why don't we piss or get off the pot" well.... I am now finished and am removing myself. If you read this, send me warm thoughts today. It is going to be a tough one. K~