Thursday, April 16, 2015

Should, would, could

I am pretty sure most of us can relate to that question. Should have, would have, could have, all day long for me some times.  That doesn't get me very far.  I also think that those of us that use these words and think this way kind of get in a ritualistic habit of using them to beat ourselves up.  We get so good at using these words we can us them in one fell swoop.

"Man, I should have thought the entire thing through much more carefully. Then I would have enjoyed things while they lasted. Instead, I ruined everything, to think of what I could have had. Sigh."

I am learning to rework the way my mind thinks in DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy).  I am trying to replace/remove should have, would have, could have, with far less judgmental thinking. Judgmental thinking? all day and night just about myself, that's it, everyone else, for the most part, is off limits. My philosophy is that it isn't my place to judge others, I have no idea the life they have lived, but I know me.

So along with all my other quests I seem to be on, I am going to add this one trek to the journey.

I have things to do and paths to take. This little example is only representing myself healing from judgmental stances against myself.


Sunday, April 05, 2015


Something that I have been told frequently is that "I am not my diagnosis".  I have been thinking about this for of course quite some time.  Usually when I bring up my contradictory opinion regarding this, I get much resistance.  I am told "You are NOT your diagnosis."  For a bit, I agreed.  I thought, ya...I am not.  I am an entire person with a lot to add to society.  

But it didn't sit well with me. Tonight, I started to think about it differently.  When a person has a physical illness, they are not that illness or diagnosis alone, they are a whole person that happens to have a particular diagnosis of an illness.  When it happens to be a mental diagnosis, I think it needs to looked at a bit differently.  Ones personality is formed in the mind.  Ones personality is created in the brain.  Ones memories are kept in the brain.  Ones learning happens in the brain.  Who you are is who your brain is.  So that makes me:

What a fun bag for tricks... Hu? k~