My journey has been a very long one and it appears there is no end in sight at least for now. But one good thing that has developed, is that I can count now, on one hand the few things I wish I could heal. Or make amends or something. But others hold those cards. Those few things I need to set aside as yet again, in some way, things I have touched and destroyed. That pain of holding onto my pain of being so awful to others and never ever intending it is something that follows me.
I have a personality that should be bottled and opened only ever so often and some put in a tiny little glass on rare moments, perhaps for some good entertainment.
I know I mentioned before that last year was perhaps worse than my high school years, which by the way I never ever thought I would have to live that nightmare ever again. But through therapy I am learning to be safe with myself. I am learning to do many things.
oh.. and of course there will be bison!!