Tuesday, January 29, 2013

At a confused very slow SNAIL pace

Well how can I describe myself as of lately?... I am sllllooooowwww. 
I am confusable. 
I am quite muddled.  
It takes me hours, and I mean hours to get stuff done.  
But the best part, is that I actually am getting stuff done.  
I am getting through things and getting projects done.  But my new years goal involves the entire house over the entire year. I have until the end of April to get through the main floor of the house.  So as we get through the first of the 4 months I have little to show for it, but I can say, I have worked on it every day.  I have been thorough. I have been consistent.  I even like some of the progress.  SO.... I even though I am slow the most important thing is that I keep just ahead of my family.  That way, someone may even be able to tell I have done something!  K~

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Creativity doesn't keep a time schedule

Ok creative juices,  I know it is hard to flow in the morning.  I know it is hard to flow when I am running around doing errands. I know it is hard to be pushed aside over and over again.  I know it is hard to be put on hold.  So you, creative juices,  like to flow late in the evening and keep me awake.  I am slowing trying to work on giving you the light of day.  I am giving you your time in the sun.  I am trying very hard to fit you in BEFORE I get bogged down.  This has been working and I hope since I am giving your due, you will give me mine and through me a complete creative thought and process instead of bits and pieces.  K~

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Getting night time sleep

Long Days usually mean short nights. For me lately, I am up early, about 7 am.  Then, I go about my day however it is planned or however it turns out.  Somewhere in there, it gets a bit crazy.  But as of late, I am used to that.  The one thing I can count one is the late late night.  I like to read.  I like to "wind" down.  I have a hard time just getting up and getting to the bed time routine.  I need to get the animals fed and put to bed.  Then it's my kids. Then it's me. Then once in bed I need to get everything set, pillows, blankets, wrinkles smoothed, this just so, that just so, then I like to check out Pinterest for a few minutes (OK, about 1/2 hour) then I read my book.  But by then my eye balls are so dry it hurts.  I try and blink, but there is now more liquid to go around.  Then I fall asleep a few times and wake up a few times until finally at about 2 I call it good and "go" and turn out the lights!  So I am going to try and go to bed by around 11 for a while so I can get ahead of this thing we call night time sleep! K~

Saturday, January 19, 2013


Meet Kirsten.  Yes she is a "Me" doll.  I made her to resemble me on the advise of one of my leaders during my pain class.  One major problem that I have a hard time with is recognizing myself as a valid important person, and the things that I do are done well.  I tend to belittle myself and ignore my needs.  This is not good for managing ones pain and keeping one on top of ones health both physical and mental.  I need to acknowledge my pain in order to know how to handle it (right?)  So,  I created Kirsten.  I crocheted her and gave her big brown hair.  She is mostly done now.  I have shoes for her and am making a coat.  I need a wedding ring too.  I have kept her in a visible area while I work.  But I have been working on painstakingly clearing out my house.  This project is a 2013 project that I began on Jan. 1st and don't plan on ending until Dec. 31. 2013.  So things get moved around on a daily basis.  So Wednesday, I was working on my desk area and I happened to look up and this is what I saw.  There I was.  I was buried in a pile of desk rubble.  I was pushed behind current projects and shuffled projects that need to be relocated.  I just found myself looking at "me".  I couldn't get over the symbolism of this moment.  Before I moved her, I looked at my journal that I have been keeping since my pain class started.  It's nothing big or detailed, but it has been consistent. I have kept up with it and made it a priority for myself.  Well looky here.  I had not written in my journal for 3 days, and it had been 7 days since I had taken any time or thought into what I had put into my journal. My pain has been very bad for about 2 weeks.  It has been constant and not very yielding.  I am overdoing things and am paying for it dearly.  So I am glad for my "me" doll even though I feel silly.  It must be a need for me to have a constant visual reminder to remember ME.  That I need to care for my body.  I can't just bury myself under rubble.  I am not of the same importance as a cookie monster cup.  I am more important. K~  

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Flares...setting me back a bit

But they won't stop me!  NO WAY!

So Fibromyalgia commonly come with nerve or pain flares.  Sometimes for me they just show up, sometimes something sparks ones, sometimes what you think may start one doesn't... that's what's so wonderful about the mystery of fibromyalgia.  So the best way I can explain it is through a visual of a solar flare.  

So if the large flare is my ablation that I had on December 27th, then the other flares are my lower back. 

The Nerves are all connected.  Mine are no different! K~