Symbolic

Meet Kirsten.  Yes she is a "Me" doll.  I made her to resemble me on the advise of one of my leaders during my pain class.  One major problem that I have a hard time with is recognizing myself as a valid important person, and the things that I do are done well.  I tend to belittle myself and ignore my needs.  This is not good for managing ones pain and keeping one on top of ones health both physical and mental.  I need to acknowledge my pain in order to know how to handle it (right?)  So,  I created Kirsten.  I crocheted her and gave her big brown hair.  She is mostly done now.  I have shoes for her and am making a coat.  I need a wedding ring too.  I have kept her in a visible area while I work.  But I have been working on painstakingly clearing out my house.  This project is a 2013 project that I began on Jan. 1st and don't plan on ending until Dec. 31. 2013.  So things get moved around on a daily basis.  So Wednesday, I was working on my desk area and I happened to look up and this is what I saw.  There I was.  I was buried in a pile of desk rubble.  I was pushed behind current projects and shuffled projects that need to be relocated.  I just found myself looking at "me".  I couldn't get over the symbolism of this moment.  Before I moved her, I looked at my journal that I have been keeping since my pain class started.  It's nothing big or detailed, but it has been consistent. I have kept up with it and made it a priority for myself.  Well looky here.  I had not written in my journal for 3 days, and it had been 7 days since I had taken any time or thought into what I had put into my journal. My pain has been very bad for about 2 weeks.  It has been constant and not very yielding.  I am overdoing things and am paying for it dearly.  So I am glad for my "me" doll even though I feel silly.  It must be a need for me to have a constant visual reminder to remember ME.  That I need to care for my body.  I can't just bury myself under rubble.  I am not of the same importance as a cookie monster cup.  I am more important. K~