Friday, October 31, 2014

ducks in a row

I know that my blog is a space for me to do my major ramblings.  I hope that someday I can work it out that it make a difference to someone.  I guess that is why I also post it on Facebook so people can read it there too. Today's ramble is on getting it together.  I am still on what appears to be a long road to somewhere.  I have in some way accepted that I will never be the woman I was before February 2014.  Too much has happened to me.  That moment in time that I can't even remember what changed me.  It is still changing me.  It is still moving inside me making me work so hard to live in the moment, heck, even acknowledge there is a moment and not just some blurred smashed up time.

Some "looking forward" news.  I met my DBT therapist.  She is nice.  She seemed to understand me at least.  She understood that I am the queen of the "cat walks"   I don't mean modeling.  I mean going off topic.  She was willing to be a therapist. I am hoping it stays that way.

My life right now is about living in the moment. It is all I can do.  If I for one moment let myself think of the past no matter how far or how close I tailspin down down down.  If I for one moment let myself think of a future I panic and worry. In the moment it is all I can do.

So my big question for myself today is "How to get my ducks in a row and how to keep them there for a while?"

 Hey you at the end where are you going? You're in line, 
but please face the right way, you make me nervous.

See!  When one is out of line... then another drifts.
  Soon, it will be all willy nilly, this is bad.

 That's more like it. Now stay please. Just stay for a moment.


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