Just trying

I  am just trying to keep myself afloat today like every other day.  A new thing that seems to happen to me is I seem to erase most everything I write just before hit the publish or send button.  It does become quite frustrating because words don't come as easy as they used to in the past.  I have a few thoughts and items today that I hope you take a moment to look at.  One is a song by a comedian that was recommended by my daughters boyfriend.  He is aware of my depression.  Instead of laughing this song made me cry.  Mr. Minchin most certainly has been through something in order to be able to write some of the truest words I have experienced and felt in a long time.  Thank you Dylan. I hope it is attached to this so you can enjoy it.  It is also, I believe on my Facebook page.



  



The second thing I wanted to share was something that just happened about an hour ago.  I was commenting on a relatives comment on Facebook and the words I was writing I found to be words I longed to hear from someone.

Sometimes (like the past two weeks), I feel like my life is out of control and I'm suffocating in missed deadlines in work and school. I feel like I'm too stupid to be a good student because I'm already in academic alert and I'm behind. I feel like a bad employee because I'm not adjusting to the changes at work fast enough and I'm always needing help, never finishing my work. I can't seem to get enough sleep and I feel so alone because I don't get to see any friends or loved ones more than a couple hours every other week if I'm lucky, not even Axxxx.... then I feel guilty because so many people have it worries than me. I have loving friends and family members, I have a roof over my head, I have a job, and I'm privileged enough to get to go to school.... just a big ol pot of negativity.... and I just can't make myself give an F right now.

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  Kirsten Olson Walsh Dear, Unfortunately this is a common feeling of getting older. Soon this will become your norm. That is why it is always important to know where your priorities lie. For short times in our lives we have to put down our fun, family and dear friends enable to get our selves together. College and work combined is one of those times and normal people will understand that. Another mile stone is early child rearing, and so on. They, the family and friend keepers, will allow room for your needs it's what friends and family do. Those who don't stick around just are not worth your time. That is a hard sad lesson in life and I am proof at 47 that that does not end. It doesn't matter how old you are. BUT the good ones, the true blue friends and family members are always there through the F's and the A's. Because to them, you are a winner that is just adding beautiful gems to your well deserved crown. Hang in there!

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You know we all want to be loved, but more than that I think we all want to be noticed as useful, needed, important in some way.  We want to be forgiven. We want to be seen as ok and good in others eyes.  We want to be understood along with our shortcomings. We want to be looked at and heard and not be judged.  We just want to feel like it is ok to be on this earth. And to have people love us.  k~