Wednesday, February 06, 2013

One Day At A Time

So for the past few months I have been living, for the most part, one day at a time.  It hasn't been easy at times, but I have been doing it.  The furthest worry I have had, is the following day, and let's be honest, my root canal.

Starting this journey, I never thought it was going to be easy.  As a matter of fact, I thought it was going to be harder than it has been.

Time marches on.  No matter how we try it will keep going.  I would like to experience some of it.  When I worry, I am some where else.  I am a sea, drifting in thought.  I don't fully experience conversation, entertainment, relaxation, etc.

I am a novice at this.  With all things, sadly there are good and bad.  Taking one day at a time does not mean one can ignore what is coming up or what has gone on in the past.  For me, it just means that for that day, I need to deal with it the best I can for that day.  I still need to plan.  I still need to rethink what has gone on.  I still need look forward to events upcoming.

For me, I struggle most with guilt.  Guilt is huge for me.  I feel lazy.  Sitting in my chair "resting" I feel useless. I know I need to do this.  If I don't, I am no good for the rest of the day, evening, or possibly the following day or week.  But still, I feel I should do more, could do more.

I keep to my plan.  I keep to one day at a time.  I rejoice in the days I am given with out a lot of pain or fatigue.  There are many. That makes me happy.  I work through the days with pain, like today,  as best I can.  They are there.  Quite often.  But since I don't know how long they will be around I just keep going.
One day at a time.


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