Friday, September 12, 2014

It is time for me to do some serious writing so the blog I return.  I know nobody really comes and visits here. Which frankly, defeats the purpose of my devotion to activism.  But I chose this format, due to the complaints I received on Facebook. Many of my entries were too long.  People didn't like that and even though I invited them to kindly not read them they wished to complain anyway.

To recap my year so I get some grounding:

Rick and I started marriage counseling in January 2014.  We did this because we were constantly bickering and having small fights in front of the kids and it was just getting too much.  So we saw her off and on for weeks.  She wanted to know about our family's.  And that was a huge trigger to me. Then she said to me that when I get mad I get Mean to Rick.  From those 2 experiences, her saying I get mean and talking about my family, it was as if a whole Pandora's box opened up and filth and ooze just bubbled up.  These things were sealed away for a good 30 years, or more even,  So that brings me to the present day September  12th, 2014,

I have shared some of my posts on this blog already, but from time to time I will just download chunk of what I put on Facebook for anyone who wants to see them.

Today, as we speak.... It is Thursday.  I am writing in a venue that I know is not looked at but by a very few and I thank you.  This is where I will continue my convoluted journey of craziness.  There are only a few things I know for sure no matter how some people try and candy coat it....

I am easy to leave behind: what do I mean? For what ever reason the person chooses to share with me or out loud or not,  Saying good bye forever is very easy to say to me.  So here's a tip, if you have ever wanted to, go right ahead. I have been friends with people in the closest of ways and when they didn't want me as a friend, when I didn't float their boat, adios.  Professionals dump me because "i don't fit the program" ie I am an unbearable pain in the ass, and I am upsetting the other patients. So bye bye.,  I am only a good time friend.  Many of friends have lost interest in me because "i'm no fun anymore." So I don't see or hear from them anymore.

Thank you so much for those who have stayed and kept my head above water.  I know you are there and I am so so grateful.  For what ever reason you stay I don't understand.  Because if it wasn't for my 3 kids I wouldn't even hang around me.

I am not depressed anymore so apparently I should be happy about that.  Yeah! 3 cheers.

So there, That is my first post back into the world of pretending I am share with others.  Kind of the way I like it.  And better yet. I have been so long that no one will find me now.

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