Friday, November 14, 2014

Depression - national suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255

So I have to go back to the 3rd of November to give myself and you some perspective on the time frame.  I am in yet another therapy appointment.  This time it is with Rita our marriage therapist and Rick.  I was very down on that Monday.  The day itself seemed to drag, everything seemed to have a weight on it.   As usual in the therapy session the conversation turns to my depression.  She makes a verbal note that I have never looked so down in a while.  She was encouraging Rick to make sure for me to see my psychiatrist the day after or possibly take me to the hospital. I can't imagine a lonelier place.  I would be so scared, I don't want that. I spend most of my days alone anyway I don't want to be in a place where I have to stay and be alone. That is still where I sit. 

I saw this video on depression.  And some of this I am guilty of doing.  I have wanted to shake dear friends out of depression because before the end of Feb. 2014 I have never had sever depression. Just Sever Anxiety (and I say that tongue and check, Anxiety is a super monster of its own) But as I sit in my 9th month with this horrible condition, I remember seeing this video right after Robin Williams death.  And still now, I feel probably worse.  I have been told that having both severe anxiety and severe depression along with Chronic pain isn't doing me any favors, but its there none the less.  I like this mans message in one way, it encourages depressed or troubled people to reach out before making that final decision. To talk to someone who is always there. The Crisis hotline or the Suicide hotline.  That is a very serious and very real message.  It is important and the number needs to be written on your hand. Come to think of it I should probably do that....hmmmm.  But one MAJOR MAJOR HUGE thing about this video that is missing, is the numbers plastered EVERYWHERE.  As a matter of fact I don't see it at all IN the video.  He also implies that everyone has someone like him to go to.  Not everyone has someone out there for you when you feel suicidal or you are ready to burn yourself with a cigarette which apparently you are supposed to go right to the ER if you do that... whoops.  Self injury is a "gateway" to Suicide.  You learn something everyday.  So I am going to take this video as a metaphor for this guy being the Crisis place you are to call. Because some of us don't have that person he describes.  And for the record, the number is

Mpls/St. Paul 24hr. Crisis Connection

Here is the video:


No comments: