Well there is a new year approaching (1 day) and needless to say I am not looking forward to 2015.
The 2014 was one of my worst years of my life. I can only think of maybe 2 or so that came close to this one. Will I say happy new year at midnight tomorrow. I can say for sure no. December 31st was my deadline. I have kept this date close to me and very secretive. Only Rick has know for very few days. A few months ago, I was faced with the statement, "If there are toxic relationships or people in your life, you need to get rid of them. It is an important step to healing." For a few days I sat on this statement thinking and pondering over it. And frankly, I could only think of one person that was the most toxic harmful person in my life... and that was me. I am the most toxic person to me and to others around me. I have been told subtly and not so subtly.
So this brings me back to my count down. I gave myself to the end of this year to remove the toxic person from my life. So far nothing has worked. As a matter of fact more people have been successful at removing me from their lives then me doing it myself. Another example of me being weak and selfish.
So what does tomorrow bring? I am not completely sure. I have made a few decisions but not all. Yes they are selfish. Yes they are self centered. Yes they will make at least a few people quite happy in the long run. For me I will be at peace eventually with my final decisions. And really that is what a new year is suppose to bring, a resolution for change. Mine will at one point bring change and hopefully peace.
For those of you that read this I do truly wish you a happy new year. I have already read some peoples excitement for the new year and it brings a smile to my face. I am happy for all of you that are moving forward and moving on together with happiness in your heart. May 2015 bring blessings and joy without comparison.