Abe - The Whites Tree Frog

Well first I have to explain the name of this chubby "little" fella.  I had a hard time naming him.  ThenI got "smart".  The whites tree frog is Arboreal. Except when I was thinking about it I was thinking Aboreal. SOOoooo.... I think Aboreal - Abe makes sense right. Until I got used to that name in my head and I figured out, DUH... it's arboreal with an R so his name really doesn't make any sense

 Here is my pretty shiny Abe.

 That beautiful cricket eating face with golden eyelids.

 He wasn't so happy posing. 

 He allowed me a few more.

 He needed to rest between shots, but then gave me a few more good ones.

 Look at that leg. 

Look at those awesome fingers.  K~

Only a matter of time

It's only a matter of time before I find myself in one of these.  I have talked far too long about moving into a cabin way off the grid.  At first I wanted to be able to have the grid so I could keep connected to all that was in the outside world.   Now as I enter my 3rd year with this retched diagnosis and trying out how to fit in here and there.  I find looking at all the mistakes in my wakes just keeps getting harder.  Moving to a cabin in the middle of no where doesn't 

mean I am abandoning my family, my beloved children or anything,  It simply means their mom lives in a location where nature is all around them when they come and stay.  They will be welcome for as long as the wind tells them they should be there.  I figure a sturdy extra strong generator and an a nice even sturdier housing unit for it will keep me safe all year round. Provisions every 2 months.  My mule and myself will take a ride into a well apointed town to get all those things that are needed, including mail.  AAHHH.. I can't wait.  That is my dream, a place where me and my illness can hurt no more people.  A place where i don't have to come with instructions.  A place where the only one that is disappointed in me is me.  I can't wait.  I hope I get my chance really soon.  k~

Perdi

Oh Perdi.  He is such a trooper.  He came to me gravely ill at 11 weeks.  A vet at a rescue center in St. Cloud knew a vet at WRC.  She looked over Perdi and asked me if I was willing to try and nurse him back to health.  Of course, I couldn't leave him so sick.  He had critical metabolic bone disease in his jaw and from his lower spine down.  He was practically paralyzed in both legs and had a dramatic hump in his lower spine.  I needed to syringe feed him critical care mix and baby food for weeks.  I also had to do extensive physical therapy on his spine, tail and legs.  It was important that his spine was flattened some so that he was able to go to the bathroom.  So everyday I would work his legs and tail.  Through the years he had a couple of check ups at the exotic vet clinic.  His front 1/2 of his body was deemed completely healthy, but his hemi-penis would fall out all the time.  So I needed to put up a visual barrier between Francis and him so he would not get excited.  I work in tandem with the vet at the clinic to keep his hemi-penis in and so far he has not needed surgery.  He is an Orange morph which is a beautiful morph of the inland bearded dragon of Australia.  They are usually very expensive.  How sick this little guy was in only 11 weeks.  His tail bitten off or torn off in some way near death.  So sad.  But this little fella is now 6 years old and doing fine.  He holds his own when Francis gets near and even got a crunch of his leg once :)  k~

A Huge step in the right direction (cautious but sure)

I am taking just a short break from my animals to give you an update on my progress/condition/moving on.  At the beginning of the month I went to listen to Rabbi Kushner speak at the Basilica of St. Mary in Minneapolis.  He is the author of many books, his first one being Why bad things happen to good people.  The book aforementioned was his first, and he was now on a tour, at the age of 80, with his last book 9 Essential Things I've Learned About Life. It was a very nice evening lasting about an hour and a half.  I had no ah ha moments. But I did have a sense of self worth descend on me.  Although I went alone, I didn't feel lonely.  I was in the moment and enjoying my surroundings and the speakers, and all that went on.

From that day forward, I had some very dark dark days, like super dark. Mixed in them were surprisingly some being in the moment days.  Then one day shortly after, I caught Joel Orsteen on TV.  He's often talking about Joy, Happiness, How God loves us.  Feel goods.  But that isn't what I came away from it. I remembered the times when I would watch every Billy Graham special on TV.  At the very end he would ask people if they wanted to come to Jesus they could come to the people waiting for them to pray with them and Just as I am would play the entire time.  Back in those days they didn't cut everything.  And I have thought about those words a lot lately.  Like maybe even with my gross horrible flaws and my terrible enormous mistakes that keeps me unforgiven. Maybe I am OK just as I am.

1	Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bid’st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!
2	Just as I am, and waiting not To rid my soul of one dark blot; To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!
3	Just as I am, though tossed about With many a conflict, many a doubt; Fightings within, and fears without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!
4	Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; Sight, riches, healing of the mind; Yes, all I need, in Thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!
5	Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!
6	Just as I am, Thy love unknown Has broken every barrier down; Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

I'm told I have to wait. Wait for what? Rick wants me to stop and wait. For what?  I ask again. It's been over a year and a half almost 2. If I just accept the obvious,  I can breath a huge sigh of relief. A weight is lifted then.  The weight of waiting for others to consider you as a person, and possible an audience for forgiveness just isn't worth your life.

I am just as God made me.  I am smart. People try and make me feel dumb, even myself, but I am smart, I know it.  I am funny and love to laugh, maybe even at odd things people don't get, but that doesn't matter, I am funny and love to laugh.  In the last week or more, I have laughed more than I ever thought I ever would again. I am rational. Yes I actually am.  I think a lot of things through.  I take a long time sometimes but that is because I consider everyone in the party that's involved. That takes time.  AND maybe someday, I can forgive myself for the transgressions I have been party to.

For those of you rooting for me, thank you. At this stage in my life. I am destroyed.  I have been ruined by selfishness, compassionless, unforgiveness.  I am functionally ruined.  I can't be expected to do much of what I did before.  My brain is VERY slow.  I am scared to go out of my house, to go to a parties, to go in public, even dare to call anyone a friend for fear they will go away.  But someday, when you see me out looking confident, it will be real and not a strong front that I have on to keep me from crying or leaving.  That day I hope will come.  Because laughing feels better than crying.

I AM MOVING ON! unforgiven, hurt, and knowing I could feel better...but I am moving on.

Rick I am sorry and I don't care who reads that.  For 2 years you have stood by me.  It has been tougher on you most of the time than me.  For all the hard work, compassion and patience you have given me, thank you. All your warnings I think are for my own good.  I also hear when you say that maybe someday I will get what will make me whole again.  Maybe what I needed will happen.  If I'm patient I may get what I need.  You see the good in people.  You are a good person and not destroyed.  For that I am so happy for you.  I love you Rick.  

k~

Mazey

Ahhh Mazey.   I love our little 5 foot Mazey.  She is a joy.  She is gorgeous.  She has a guitar shape on her head, always has.  She is so friendly.  She loves to hide under her fake hollowed out rock.  The only time I see her is when she pocks her head out once in a while.  This means, I have a rumbly in my tumbly mom, can you start to thaw a rat for me.  The other time is when she is cold and she sits on her heating pad just under her glass.  Then we get to see all of her beauty.  She is time for a tank update, however, Sometimes I wonder why, she just goes from one side to the other to hide.   She really doesn't us up all the space provided.  She likes to get out of her cage and loves bathes.  I fill the tub with warm water and she swims around for quite a bit.  Then I dry her off and wrap her in a dry towel and she sits with me for a time.  She is used to be picked up and held.  She is a corn snake. They usually reside in the South Eastern part of the United States.  I named her Mazey due to her "Indian corn" pattern on her belly.

Yum yum.... See the guitar on her head?  

Millipedes

I have one millipede. "Her" name is Nancy.  I love millipedes.  Their many little legs tickle me as they move along my hand and arm.  This one is the largest millipedes in the continental United States.  They reside mainly in Texas.  I also enjoy the chocolate brown ones as a pet. My luck of housing 2 together has not been great.  So I now keep one at a time.  

One of my favorite things about the millipedes are their munchy little mouths. Sometimes while holding them you can feel them munching away on your finger.  They, however, are totally herbivores. Unlike their hideous garden (and house) neighbor, the centipede. The are carnivores. 

Nancy

Millipedes are often born with only 3 legs.  There are no millipedes with 1,000 legs, even though Mil means 1,000.  The closest is a small white millipede that can fit on a quarter.  This millipede has 742 legs. The millipede has 2 pairs of legs per segment of it's body.  

Millipedes are most definitely NOT centipedes. Centipedes are carnivores. Where as Millipedes are vegetarians.  Both do good for keeping the environment clear of leaf litter and dead carcasses from around or in our home. 

     

Texas Giant Redheaded Centipede 

Common House Centipede

They have an important job to do and not just to send me to the nut home!!! 

But I don't keep one as a pet!  They only have one pair of creepy legs per segment of their body.  Ick! k~

Nala the illusive

I am often asked about my cat.  Well yes, we have an adorable gray tabby.  Her name is Nala.  She came to us 14 1/2 years ago.  Her beginnings were kind of tragic, like a lot of our family additions.  She was found on one of my mom's friends property in a bag with her sister in a pond.  They were left to be drown there.  Nala got out but her sister sadly succumbed.  So Nala spent approximately the first 8 weeks of her life living in nature.  She must of come back to the bag frequently, because that is where she was found.  She has always been illusive.  She likes to pet herself on your hand.  When she is done, she usually yells at you and then kills your hand.  It is very important not to pull your hand away, or she will just dig her claws and teeth in deeper in order to kill you even more.  With that said, she has a very spontaneous sensitive side.  She loves her wet food and being brushed.  She can't get enough treats and enjoys spitting and hissing at Bing.  

Photographing her is a challenge.  She is always moving and very rarely is in good lighting.

So just like the chickens and Quailly, photos are blurry. K~

The Farms

Keeping micro farms is not extremely easy.  It's is not terribly hard either. There is a lot of sifting.  I guess it might take a discerning eye.  I have to keep a close look out for the teeny tiny little worms.

Meal worms

The "gross stage".  This stage is where the icky stuff goes.  The obvious dead and the molting.

OH BOY!! wow a hole what 10?

 

Once the worms grow up they hit the pupa stage and then hatch out as

small black beetles that then lay the eggs that hatch into the worms.

Super worms: the same as meal worms, just bigger and grosser.

Super worms

When they curl, they are ready to turn into a pupa

Super worm pupa

When the "leg looking things on the pupa" turn brown, they are very close to turn into a beetle.

When the pupa becomes a beetle, they are often white and brown or brown.

Very quickly they turn black.

These beetles are very clingy.  When ever I have to clean them

or remove the dead, I usually have to have David near by to catch

any that get out.  These beetles are icky.

Crickets: Well these are just a mess.  Hatching, not hatching, Living not living.  Some day!

And there you have it.  3 farms.  k~

58 animals... is that too many?

A couple of days ago I took the time to count my animals.  I do this every now and again because it fluctuates over the year.  58 was the number plus 3 micro farms.  This of course does not include my family of 3 children and my husband  :). I don't have them all pictured some are hard to get on camera, but I have some pictured below.  Now if you read my blog or talked to me recently you know Medusa (pictured below) has passed away, but I still have one snake and her name is Mazey.  So Medusa is representing her.  Then Mama, Studio, Buff, Quailly, Quailly, Nancy 2,  Francis,  Buff, Perdi,  Lizzy, Jupiter, and Bing.  Sam helped me take some of the pictures.  It does take a while to care for all of these precious lives, it's what I do.

So if I were to list them all it would be as follows:

2 African clawed frogs
1 large feeder gold fish
2 anoles
2 long tailed grass lizards
1 corn snake
2 bearded dragons
2 tortoises
2 box turtles
2 fresh water parrot fish
1 hamster
2 bunnies
1 cat
1 dog
1 quail
3 chickens
7 water turtles
12 (or so) small fish
3 large feeder fish
8 brown goldfish (outdoor ponds)
4 bullhead (outdoor pond)
Cricket farm
Meal worm farm
Super warm farm

Phew.  That was overwhelming just to write.  I have quite a system down and my sister is the only other one that has it down.  Sam is catching on.  Now onto the plants... oh later on that I'm exhausted. k~