South Dakota bound

Going to the Badlands to see all my Bison!! :)

K~

The car is now scrap metal.

1/2 way to the scrap place, I needed my inhaler.  K~

Thinking too hard

This would describe the way I often look at things.  I just simply can't pick up a form and fill it in.  I often pick away at it and find something that irritates me.  Or I find something that I question about the question.  The other night at work for example I was cleaning the turtles as I often do. We have new sheets that were created by the vets.  There is a lot asked of us.  And I think that's just fine.  As I go through them, it's clear that some are reading them and some aren't.  So on one particular form the vet asks us to count the # of fish left before cleaning it.  They want to know what if anything the turtle is eating.  Sounds easy so I do this and I log it.  One thing to know, the AM crew both cleans and feeds. The PM crew ONLY cleans.  So I am looking over the turtles sheet and noticing that the AM people are writing that they are finding 0 fish.  Pausing, I get a little giggly... um.. if PM is not feeding there... would... be... no... fish??? so 0. right? These are things that I find very enjoyable.  K~

Oh LSP

 I could have used you to help me

communicate over the past few days.

K~

de-cluttering/organizing/sorting

Well I have been working hard since January on my house.  I have to say that with all the additional items from my in-law's house being added in April and May, I think that there has been progress......

( I am just going to let that float there for a while)

Now the reality, I have a really hard time with sorting, organizing and getting rid of some things.  So my pace has slowed some, but I am embracing my progress which has been made.  I am accepting my slower pace and moving forward.

K~

A bit of Gull Lake's beginning ~ so much more to come

 Stuck in a traffic jam!

 "sleeping" probably working out some homework yet unfinished.

 Sam sleeping like an angel!

 David so so proud of making his own "easy mac"

A wild life rehabers life is never on vacation.  Me saving a baby bird.  Still there in the morning, so far so good!  K~

People in my fence

So one day several weeks ago, well by now it's been a few months, but anyway, I pulled my car into my parking spot and looked into the beam of light the headlights were making.  This is what I saw staring back at me.  I greeted the little fellow in an English/Scottish "Kipper" accent because well frankly to be honest, that is my internal voice now.  It has turned into a Scottish/English person.  Too much BBC perhaps.  I blame ABC for canceling "All My Children" but I digress. So back to my wonderful discovery.  So yes where was I.... Oh, I said Hello to this chap and I was just tickled!  He was so cute.  I took a picture of him.  Just as I finished, I saw his wife out of the corner of my eye.  She was impatiently waiting for me to notice her.  You can tell by her pursed lips.  I totally love her updo with the 1920's ringlets on the sides.  Or perhaps it's a fancy hat. I feel totally comfortable if you want to pick one or the other. 

 So shortly after meeting these to wonderful people I soon met some of there close friends.  This lady is a next door neighbor who likes to gossip.  Unfortunately she does it so frequently that her mouth has stuck at that sly whispering position.

 This is the goofy neighbor that hangs around and chats with them as they struggle to get in the door before he notices them and comes out to chat until night falls. We try and overlook that one of his eyes is sadly popping out of his head. 

 And lastly there is the guys that everyone likes because they are a bit to scared not to.

K~

14 days of May

May 1st 

Sam's Birthday -Sam's turns 11

May 2-4th

Bobbi came up to visit :)

May 6th 3:55 AM

David leaves for Washington D.C. 

(Seriously I turned around and saw this!)

May 7th 

Sam's Spring Band Concert with Children's House and Nicholas David

 May 9th 

Spring Project for JJ Hill Montessori School 

Sam's Project - Bioluminescence

 May 10th

Bing had his teeth cleaned and ended up needing pants.

May 11

Twin Cities Academy Prom

Cora and Ryan 

May 12

Mother's Day

May 14

Cora's Sweet 16th Birthday

Phew.  K~

The many hats I wear

The many hats I wear  

I wear many hats up on my one head.  

Sometimes it's hard to figure out the order.

First one mom, Second one maid, Third one keeper.

Now forth one clean kitchen, bath or is it bed.

I wear many hats up on my one head.

Sometimes they are all business, 

Sometimes they are all messy, 

Sometimes they are all smashed, crushed and torn,

But never are they fancy, this I rarely dread.

Kirsten Walsh

Downton Abbey

Waiting for season 4.  Really good show! K~

New years resolution

So one of my new years resolutions was to be late to everything.  That way no matter what, I would be successful at at least one new years goal :) 

The second (real ) new years resolution was to "squeegeeing" through my house over the entire year.  Cleaning it through and through.  Making each nook and cranny clean and purposeful.  If you know me I am organized by nature. I do have organization in my chaos.  But you wouldn't know it to see my house.  

It is March now, and I am still in the "Good" room, I call it.  We have a small house, so I really can't call it a Great room.  That would be exaggerating.  I have made progress.  But the biggest challenge hasn't been done, walking space. 

I have given myself until the end of March to finish the "Good" room.  Then it's onto the Dining and Living room, after which will come the bathroom, Cora's room and the boys room.  Then upstairs and down stairs.  

Hopefully, I will not need to start over.

K~

I'm a bit better but somewhat the same

Well it is Tuesday night and I am working on several things at once as usual.  I am making an amigurumi character, zentangling in my art book.  working in my journal, and looking at my cross-stitch I am absolutely want to finish so I can start my neon piece!!

Alas,  there is life too.  Cleaning and feeding of my zoo and farm.  Cleaning and feeding my children :).  Cleaning and organizing my home. Repeat!

There is a beautiful March snow outside. I am happily almost caught up on my shows, where I can watch them in real time.  That, will be enjoyable.

Mostly, I am rising a bit out of my funk.  I hope that it continues.  It is hard.  I need to feel useful, but a lot of times I know that feeling is an empty feeling.  Most of the time, it only matters what others get from what I can give not so much what I get from it.  It is not what I get from my service, it is not the reason I do it.  I do it because it needs to be done.  It should be done.  So I do it.  I am here, so I do it.  Yes I get gratification from doing good for others, I get a sense of peace from caring for those who need.  I get "fed" from those I feed or aid.  It is enough to teach and show others things that I know.  Eyes that are bright with joy and excitement fill me up to overflowing.  Sometimes I get sad thinking that money is needed to live.  That the amount of money determines their usefulness in society.

Then I go back to the way I felt on Saturday.  When your life is over, people go through your things and move on.  and so on and so on. And the difference you made, you are never there to know it... really for real.

between bootstraps and a shrug

This has been a really tough day.  Going though memories is hard.  Seeing how others react is even harder.  Knowing it is the end of the way things were is sad.  Knowing that my kids will be doing the same is even sadder.  Then I stop and wonder really and truly what all of it is really all about.

It has been a very long time since I have questioned if I want to pull myself up by my bootstraps or just shrug and say no I think this time I wont.  This time I'll just sit here.

K~  

Squeaky clean

So it was time for me to get everyone squeaky clean.  It took me over a 2 day span to clean 120 gallons of water, but don't they look HAPPY!!  Now it's the land animals.  Then lastly, it is my farms.  Then we start over again. Oh yes, and Perdi and Francis got a scrub a dub too! K~   

Large fish - fish tank

Small fish - fish tank

Turtle tank

Hello friend

Turtle up close

 African Clawed Frogs and goldfish tank

African Clawed Frogs and goldfish tank

 Francis and Perdi after a bath.

Brain Fog Tours

Well I think I am going to start a new business.  

I am going to call it "Brain Fog Tours" 

 Essentially it is going to be a company that is set up for those people

 who want to tour the cities but would like to see what ever area they happen upon.  

That's where I come in.  

I start out with a plan and then my brain fog will happily take us to places we don't intend on going.  Fortunately, I am able to get close enough to our destination, in order to get us home.  

Tours will have to have an open end time, due to the Quaint selling point of the "lost" feeling you will have.  

I go on these "tours" quite frequently.  Mostly when I am trying to get from Bloomington to home or from Blooming to Roseville.  I totally know how to get there, but somehow, I end up at these places like I have just awakened, and I am like "Oh,  now how did I get here?"  I then have to get my barrings and find a new direction to my destination.   

Today it brought me to a whole new road I have never been on before.  I didn't even know it existed.  It was a road that ran along Hwy 77 by the MOA.  It ended up coming out right at the road I wanted to be on anyway.  Yeah.  But it doesn't always work out so good.  One time I was trying to get to Roseville from Bloomington, and I went by far the longest way around.  It took me forever!  

So, "Brain Fog Tours"  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.  

You'll see sites that are even new to the driver!!  

K~

One Day At A Time

So for the past few months I have been living, for the most part, one day at a time.  It hasn't been easy at times, but I have been doing it.  The furthest worry I have had, is the following day, and let's be honest, my root canal.

Starting this journey, I never thought it was going to be easy.  As a matter of fact, I thought it was going to be harder than it has been.

Time marches on.  No matter how we try it will keep going.  I would like to experience some of it.  When I worry, I am some where else.  I am a sea, drifting in thought.  I don't fully experience conversation, entertainment, relaxation, etc.

I am a novice at this.  With all things, sadly there are good and bad.  Taking one day at a time does not mean one can ignore what is coming up or what has gone on in the past.  For me, it just means that for that day, I need to deal with it the best I can for that day.  I still need to plan.  I still need to rethink what has gone on.  I still need look forward to events upcoming.

For me, I struggle most with guilt.  Guilt is huge for me.  I feel lazy.  Sitting in my chair "resting" I feel useless. I know I need to do this.  If I don't, I am no good for the rest of the day, evening, or possibly the following day or week.  But still, I feel I should do more, could do more.

I keep to my plan.  I keep to one day at a time.  I rejoice in the days I am given with out a lot of pain or fatigue.  There are many. That makes me happy.  I work through the days with pain, like today,  as best I can.  They are there.  Quite often.  But since I don't know how long they will be around I just keep going.
One day at a time.

K~